Before we start...

Maybe better to know me more?

From Generations project I found we can't understand each other without knowing their background, so I wrote this page to let you know me more about what experience and what kind of pre knowledge I have already had, maybe it helps you to have more sense to understand what am I trying to do and why I am doing.

Please just start main topic... ->

I am the person always living in confusion...

I have two completely different names that I can legally use. One is Chinese name given by my parents when I was born. Another one is Japanese name I chose by my self. In additional, I also have English name as you know, and few more names using for games and hobbies. Maybe some of you can understand that when you have different names. It means you are using different characters for yourself. I have a lot of inter personalities.

What kind of background do I have?

I was born in China, as a girl. But my Parents strongly wanted a boy, so I was grow as a boy. It was continued until I went to a girls school in secondary school but because of medication I had when I was a little child my body was grown larger than another girl, so even in a girls school it let me being (kind of boyish) gender neutral. Also there is many of trance gender example in Japan and China for long time so I didn't think how that is not 'normal' until I got to a IT company when I was 22 years old.

Before 8 years old (when I moved to Tokyo for living with my parents) I spent most of the time for reading books, enjoyed watching TV drama with my ground parents few hours a day, having dream about being musician or prima-donna. It was able until I got in to secondary school... My parents are very strict, only accept me to have 100 in exam, also push me to spend my whole time for 'Study' (in here it means preparing for getting in the best university). I couldn't go out of house before the latest time I have to go to school, I had to go back home just when school finished, I only had one hour free time that I can watch TV or reading novels for Dinner. I was trapped in my room and need to facing textbook rest of the time. It made me dead in my life. But I still was free in the school, I read all fiction novels (over 10,000) book I had in our library, I had hard opera singing training, violin lessons, out of school curriculum. I found interest for baroque music and painting in renaissance. At same time I studied biology as main subject as preparation for being surgeon, because that is the only way I could choose for my future that also my parents can accept. I got high mark for most of the subject except English... That is why I couldn't get in to the medical school. Ironically I am in UK and writing this in English for the subject that most fascinating me.

During secondary school my mother language was changed to Japanese from Chinese, also because I had to learn opera in original language I learnt Italian and Latin and German. It was not enough to say learnt as a language but this also has been a seed to have interest for Linguistics and relationship between history and mythology with language tree. I also find some similar interest in the Japanese and Chinese (Far East Asian culture) , Latin, German, Scandinavian (western culture) in my mixed cultural background.

After I failed the exam of getting in university I decided to learn business and management and I got a job working in IT company for 5 years. I was always in despair and boring life in real. That is why I persistence in fiction and fantasy to let me escape.

These are just some of the example that most I inspired by.

新白娘子传奇 (1992) : One of the most famous Chinese TV drama, Female played the main Male character.

宝塚 : The most famous Japanese actors(?) productions, all characters play by Female.

Malice Mizer (1991-2001) : They are one of the most famous musician group set in Genre 'Visual' In Japan. 99% all member are Male but most of the time some of them play Female character in public. They are one of the pioneer start performing in early age. Leader of Malice Mizer, Mana is also the person who brought Gothic and Baroque elements to Japanese Rock music, at same time he is the person create the genre 'Gothic and Lolita' in fashion state.

Lareine : Leader 'Kamijo' (blonde hair in picture) was Mana's assistant in his early musician life, followed him doing theatrical music performance, also he brought cinematic elements to his music.

Interview with the Vampire (movie, 1994) : Maybe you already recognised this is a big piece gave inspiration to Malice Mizer and Lareine...even me.

Final Fantasy : One of the most famous Game series in the world, since 1987 they made the first game in RPG (Role Playing Game) style until now they have 15 titles in main framework and 13 others around the concept, they also have few motion animation title as spin off.

Mozart : First composer I loved.

Rubens : First painter I loved.

Einstein : The most greatest scientist I think.

新白娘子传奇 (1992)

Chinese famous TV drama series using Female actress for main Male character.

宝塚

Japanese famous Production team all character play by female.

Malice Mizer (1992-2001)

Japanese musician group. They created one of the structure of theatrical visual play with music performance, normally one or two of the member play female character in public.