STILL § ALIVE
1.What does DEAD mean?
In Dictionary
from Cambridge Dictionary (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/dead)
dead (adjective)
1. Not Living, cannot feel it
2. Not in use
3. Boring
4. Equipment in not working
5. Tired
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Mainly we are using for 'Not living' then what does Live mean...
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Live (verb)
1. Be alive, having life
2. Have a home
3. Spend life, Stay alive
4. Continue to exist, as it happens
5. Interesting life
6. Electricity is charged
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For me it means having no choices
2002 one of my friend recommend 'Malice Mizer' to me. Their first concept was 'what is human about?' That was the first trigger to let me think about what is ALIVE and what is DEAD. I was born as human I am looks like a human, I am breathing, eating. So biologically I am alive. But I don't have any place can feel I am being home I even don't know where is my home country. I have no choice for my future life just like a prisoner. I turned off all emotions as if I still have them my life was too painful for a child.
'Am I ALIVE?'
I couldn't find any joy in my life I tried to end my life for several times but I had bad luck I couldn't die. Then I start to live in the dead in real life and drawing in to dreams... This has changed after I have met 'LAREINE'. They had main concept ’The World of Romance', mainly they set their Live concert as another world (like dream) you an forget all bad happened in your real life and enjoy in the limited unlimited space. In their live concert they use their songs (some are already exist, some are written for the new concept they do) in different order to make different stories for each concert. I only can feel I am alive in dream. But I felt I still have no choice for what I see front of my eyes, instead I can be free in my dream while I am sleeping.
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Why I chose Live Performance
I got free from my parents since 2005. I got a part time job in game company, I was playing game all of the day off. The first university for me is just for getting qualification. I was spending time in blank in university, went to live concert after school, got drunk after concert, slept in to the bar overnight, my life has changed... Somewhere normally as real life became the time I sleep (as sensible) I was only awake in the world of games and live concert and darkness.
I found TV Drama, Movies, Games, Live Concert brought me to another world that I can see by my eyes, not only in my mind. In live performance, I even can touch them.
In games and films, we still have screen in between of us and the story, but real (physical) characters and scenery is in front of us in any kind of live performance in the distance we can touch. And now we also have VR, that we can walk in to the space in performance as an audience.
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How DEAD means in Live Performance?
After I found joy in live concert, I went to all of the concert of some music band. In same tour of course they are playing different songs for different show, so every each show has different meaning and stories, but after I saw them for few times, I found actually they are doing same performance. I only can use setlist (Playlist) to identify different shows. After one year, I could imagine how they will move (or perform) even in the song they never played before. It is similar to re-editing film again and again. It is like theory, If egg fall on to a hard floor, you know that could crack, if you put something in fire it could burn.
'If we can completely know what will happen, then what is the point we watch.'
'If exactly happens same how many times you watch.'
'If there is no difference between recorded and live then what is the the point to pay more and have to spend time to go to somewhere else and standing for few hours.
I don't know how many people will watch same production for many times, at least I became only go to the first show and the final show in same tour even for the most favourite artist.
December 2016, I did lighting operator for Drama Centre's play 'Love and Information' (Platform theatre). I watched few times in dress rehearsal I watched during the run for a week. the first one or twice it was fun, I was enjoying show during my operating, but it was too well rehearsed, it became boring later, I feel I am like a machine I feel there is no different with watching film and live performance.
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